Today I’m not going to post about my five favourites of this week, because something much more important is in my mind. Today was supposed to be my dad’s 65th birthday, and I bet that my mom would cook a great dinner if they were still here. When my father passed away, I was 14 years old and it was just 5 years after my mother’s death. It was sudden, nobody in my family was expecting that to happen…a heart attack during his sleep. I also like to think that it was peaceful, of all the things that could happen, at least this type is quick. I would also like to say that he didn’t suffer, but I would not be telling the truth. He broke his heart before when the great love of his life, his rock, his everything passed away. When she died, I was 9 years old, and I can remember that when I received the news, I changed a little bit…I became more introspective. I can’t imagine what my father went through, because he lost three important things at once: his job as a teacher and researcher at a big university in Brazil (which he dedicated his whole life to), his mother (two months earlier), then the mother of his children. How are you supposed to continue your life, with two girls to raise (my sister was 17 at the time) after you lost some of the most important things in your life?
I would like to write that everything was ok, that he was back in his feet in no time, but let’s face it, that only happens in movies or series, real life is hard. Of course he tried to do his best, but the enemy was always by his side…alcoholism, and it would never leave him in peace or let him be happy. It was a very difficult five long years until he found peace, I’m not gonna write about all of my memories from this period, because the strongest memory I have, is about a great, loving and caring dad, who used to call me his little princess 🙂
What’s funny is that when you’re young you don’t fully comprehend a situation, now that I’m older I understand much more, and if it were to happen today, I would try my best to reverse it, maybe the end of the story would be different. I sometimes catch myself thinking what would I have become if my parents hadn’t passed away, but I don’t have a clue. What I do know is that I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today and probably wouldn’t have met the great people that are in my life today, who are so important and helped me along the way.
I know that a lot of people pass through great obstacles along their life, but I believe that there is always a purpose behind everything that happens, and if God puts them there, we have to trust him and believe that we are strong enough to always overcome, no matter how hard it may be. I try always to think on the bright side…I am thankful that I at least got some wonderful years with both my parents, and it was really a pleasure. I will always remember my mother who was always happy and dancing around, and my father a brilliant physicist who was passionate about science….what a couple! It was my privilege to be chosen as their daughter, and I hope to give them the gift of continuity.
I hope that wherever they are right now, they find themselves surrounded with peace and happiness 😉
Have a wonderful and blessed weekend! Be happy!
P.S. I have some great pictures with him that I will upload when I get back to Brazil.